Being Grateful

Good morning world!  Yes, I'm posting again.  What can I say...I guess I miss you all too much!

Last night my mother and I got together at her house and had dinner together.  Nothing fancy in terms of dinner (neither of us are very picky), but just simple time for us to spend together and just chat for a bit.  We sat on her deck, looked out over her gardens, and just talked about whatever topic happened to come up.

Unfortunately, we now have the special bond of both of us losing a spouse but also of recently losing a loved one and finding ourselves alone.  So it's good that we can share and we understand and that we can fill some of the emptiest with each other.  I regret that I didn't fully understand the grief and emptiness she felt when my father passed and she was alone.  But I've learned that you don't fully understand until you've experienced it yourself.  And instead of living with regrets, we instead do what we can today to support each other.  For that I'm both grateful while also being a bit angry that life has dealt us these cards.  Regardless, though, it was a nice evening and we'll plan to do it again.

The cooler evening was a nice relief and I opened the windows wide and the cool breeze made for a peaceful night of sleep.  Funny that I still wake up an hour after going to bed.  I am grateful that I am able to sleep as well as I used to.  Well, maybe not as sound during the night.  But I am able to fall asleep relatively easily and get a good night's sleep.  In the past, I never woke up during the night.  Ed used to get up several times during the night and I never stirred at all.  Now I awake when I hear the animals outside or the breeze knocks something off the window sill.  But I am able to fall back asleep and I'm grateful for that.  I am one who always loved my sleep and if Ed or Dan tried to wake me up after falling asleep (even if it was while laying on the couch), they wouldn't be greeted with a very happy person.  When Dan went off to college, I did experience some insomnia and it's awful so I know to be grateful for the ease in which I can fall asleep and for the good night's sleep that I do get.

This week I have also begun to walk outside in the morning again.  This used to be my daily routine for many years--either walking a couple miles outside or hitting the treadmill inside.  But I have found that returning to old routines has been difficult.  So not only does the exercise feel good, but it feels good that I can get back to this without being overwhelmed by sadness.  Little by little....step-by-step...

It's Friday and I'm looking forward to the weekend...not for anything in particular, but just because I have my list of projects to do around the house.  Because just as I feel a sense of gratification in completing tasks as work, I have that same feeling as I cross things off my list at home as well.

May you all enjoy your weekend and may you find small things in your life to be grateful for.  Happy Friday!!