Saturday, December 13, 2014

Sigh...

It's the weekend!  Sigh...  Life has been so hectic lately I'm hoping the weekend gives me a bit of a chance to breath a little, although I doubt it will happen since I have a long list of things to do.

Mom continues to be in the hospital in ICU.  She is making small progress for which we are extremely grateful.  She's not 100% stable yet but the doctors are watching that and Mom's job is to begin to build up her strength so she can get out of bed and walk a little.  We are so much further along though than where we were two weeks ago.  And for that we are so thankful.  There is just a long road ahead of us.

I continue to visit Mom daily to spend a few hours with her.  This has required adjustments to my work schedule and the days are long, sometimes not getting home until after 9 PM or to bed til midnight.  I realize I'm burning the candle on both ends and that I need to be careful because Mom's recovery will be a long road.

My supervisor and staff at work have been terrific.  When I talked to my supervisor about my work schedule she was so understanding and supportive.  That was so nice and gave me one less thing to worry about.  We agreed that I will continue my week-by-week, play it by ear, through the end of the year and then see where Mom is in the new year.  And my staff are all stepping up and moving things forward more independently.  So even though I can complain like anyone else about work, when push comes to shove, they are supportive and flexible and for that I'm thankful.

This week I put up the Christmas tree so it's beginning to look a bit more like Christmas around here.  I still have shopping to do and cards to send and decorating to do.  I'm being forced to cut out my baking this year.  In years past, I baked over a hundred dozen cookies of different varieties and gave them as gifts.  Last year, with Ed's passing, I knew I had a good reason to stop baking, but I didn't.  I only cut back slightly.  But this year...I just don't have the time with Mom in the hospital.  People will understand but it will be my own guilt that I will need to get over.  I'm getting over it...

When Dan was home recently, he took care of putting the candles in all the windows.  Years ago, Ed had bought some sensor candles that automatically come on when it's dark.  We hadn't been using them for whatever reason.  However, when Dan put out the candles this year, these were the ones he used thinking they were the "right" ones.  Of course, when I got home I had to point out that they weren't the "right" ones, but we left them anyhow.  Now I am thankful because every evening, when I get home after a long day, the candles are there shining in the windows--bright, cheery lights to greet me, welcoming me home.

So there is some feeling of Christmas starting here at home.  It's unlikely Mom will be home for Christmas and so we may choose to postpone our family celebration.  But we'll see.  A lot can happen in two weeks.  I mean, just look back to where we were two weeks ago...

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Prayers

Some of you coming to this blog may already know that my mother is in the hospital.  It's hard to believe she's "only" been there 4 days.  It seems much longer.  The days are blurring together and I struggle to figure out what it was I had intended to do over the long Thanksgiving weekend.  But that weekend has come and gone now.

Mom wasn't feeling well last Tuesday (fatigued, chills) but Wednesday she seemed to bounce back even saying how she feels so much better.  On Thursday morning though she still wasn't feeling well so my sisters and I told her to go back to bed and we'd get dinner ready.  The reality is that she had already had everything prepared and had even put the turkey in Thursday morning.  So we just needed to follow her list and take care of the few things that were left.  Mom got up and joined us for some conversation and then some time at the dinner table but she tired easily and so went back to bed.  She rested most of the day but by evening as we prepared to leave, she was shaking.  Independently and together we all came to the conclusion that we could not leave her alone.

We weren't sure whether what she had was a simple flu bug but we were most worried about dehydration because she hadn't drank or eaten much over the past couple days.  We called a friend who is a nurse to review her symptoms who confirmed we should take her to the ER to be checked out.  This is where she was diagnosed with double pneumonia.  She is currently in the ICU and I won't go into a lot of detail here.  We have setup a CaringBridge page (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/patjasmin) because Sunday was not a good day and we all felt the need for prayers for Mom so we reached out via social media.  Mom has many friends and family and the CaringBridge page was the best way to keep everyone posted on her progress.

I myself prayed for Mom, feeling that God owed us one after last year.  I know that's not how it works, but I asked anyway.  I asked Mike and Ed to come to Mom in her sleep to calm her down so she was less anxious and her breathing would less labored.  If the two of them can't be with us, I felt that they had a purpose on the other side and now was the time to come through.

It is weird to be in the ICU.  Mom is in the exact same room that Ed was in.  Several of her nurses are the same nurses Ed had.  They remember me.  They remember Mom.  I think this calms Mom a little because she "knows" them.  I just pray that our outcome is totally different.

So we continue to pray because it is only Mom's determination and our prayers that will pull her through.  The doctors are giving her the medical treatment she needs, but the rest is up to her.  And so I will continue my prayers and I ask that you do as well.

Mom and me with her friends Donna and Sandy on Friday, Nov 21st.  Dinner before the Singing Priest Concert.