Turning Calendars and Missing Wood

The first thing I did this morning was turned the calendars to May....good riddance April (with the exception of April 1st which is Grover and Lexi's birthday)!  Of course, one of those calendars is a Philadelphia Eagle's calendar that Ed got at Christmas.  And it is natural that he is everywhere and his things are everywhere and I wouldn't change that for the world.  I miss him and see him in so many things--some of them making no logical sense.

In our back yard there was a pile of wood from when we took down Dan's clubhouse last year.  The pile of of wood sat there stacked up at the edge of the yard waiting for Ed to do something with it (for that was always his job).  I'm sure I mentioned it to Tim that this was just another thing that I needed to deal with now that Ed is gone.  Well, last night, Tim (and Cathy) showed up and threw the wood in the back of his truck and took it away.  And I so appreciate them doing this, I really do.  But I miss that pile of wood.  How stupid is that?

But it's May 1st...a new month.  And I will return to work today and try to define a new routine.  I need to go to the funeral home this evening so that will force me to leave the office a little earlier than usual.  But this is a good thing since I previously had a habit of working too many hours and it was the fact that Ed was home cooking dinner, waiting for me, that made me leave the office at a semi-reasonable hour.  Now there's no reason to rush home...except it is now my job to take care of the yard.  Ed used to get out of work and spend time walking around the yard, watering flowers, weeding, putzing around.  In his honor, I will now do this because if I kill all the plants and flowers he's taken such care of over the years, he'll be really annoyed with me.  I can't promise I won't kill things, but I will at least try to take care of them as Ed did.

It is also important for me to begin to think about others and not just my own hurt and grief.  So today I think and keep in my prayers: "A" who is undergoing surgery today--may it be successful and may your pain end; and "L" that the doctors can identify the source of your pain so that they can begin treat it.

May you all have a nice day and don't forget to hug your loved ones.