A "Nice" Day

Yesterday was a nice day but I realize I strain the use of the word "nice".  Yes, I was truly blessed by having Dan home and we shared the day both celebrating Mother's Day and his birthday.  And we did okay for the most part.  We exchanged cards and gifts in the morning.  Later in the day we went to my mother's and we hung out together and ordered Chinese takeout for dinner.  It was "nice".  And as expected, I missed Ed. We used to joke that I wasn't his mother, but he still always got me thoughtful gifts with a special card expressing his love.  He always took advantage of holidays or special events to spoil me.  And it wasn't, and didn't have to be, anything extravagant.  A bag of chocolates to stash in my desk drawer at work or a flowreing hanging basket for outside.  It was simple things, the little things that I liked that and that he knew better than anyone else.

As I realize I was feeling this way, I'm sure Dan had these same thoughts as well although he didn't express them.  When Dan was younger, I always knew the perfect gift to get him for his birthday.  As he got older, though, Ed became the one who knew better whether it was something for his car, for playing golf, or for his apartment.

At the end of the day, I think both Dan and I did okay and I know we are both very thankful to have each other since the day would have been much harder otherwise.

Yesterday morning, we did get dirt for our vegetable bed and to fill/level off above our septic tank.  I was so excited.  I got dirt for Mother's Day!!

In the afternoon, we went to my mother's to celebrate with her, Momma Jeanne, and my sisters and their kids. Of course I got angry at myself because I didn't organize things very well especially since it was my idea to get together.  Not that anyone really cared, but it bothered me that I neglected to bring wine to share or the menu to order from.   And it bothered me because these are things Ed would think of and also because I used to be right on top of things and I'm not anymore and it frustrates me.  And that was when the tears came last night because even the smallest things require extra effort and thought and it can just be overwhelming.

And I missed my brother yesterday as well.  Not that he would have hung out with us on the deck but he would have come up to get some food and share a few words or laughs and would have just been present.  And our family picture that we took at Thanksgiving and that Dan printed and framed for Christmas hangs in the dining room and I looked at that picture yesterday and missed both Ed and Mike.  I sure everyone did.  But family and friends are good and being together was "nice".

I've posted this picture before, but it's worth repeating...