TGIF

I woke up this morning with mixed emotions.  First off, I guess I set my alarm to "alarm" mode this morning so I awoke startled and with my heart racing.  I usually set it to "music" just for this reason.   I am not a fan of waking to an alarm sound.  So as I laid there trying to get my heartbeat back to normal, I recalled the last time I was awoken like this which was when my phone rang in the middle of the night to let me know Ed had passed.  I turned that moment over in my mind for a while before I finally got myself out of bed.  And I started my day, as I have for the past two months, making the bed, a task that Ed used to do every morning.  Gosh I miss him.

And it's another Friday so I count the time since Ed's funeral--4 weeks.  And for the first time in 8 weeks, Dan will not be coming home tonight and although I fully encouraged and support this decision, I'll miss him tonight as well since it became our routine.  But we need to begin a new routine.

One of the things I'm recognizing, and not because it's always apparent, is that I am not functioning at 100%.  There are moments when I'm forgetful or I do things wondering afterwards what I was thinking.  I had one of those moments yesterday that I want to share with you (you'll need to bear with me as I recap this little story).

Each morning, my routine consists of getting a cup of coffee and reading the paper.  And don't ask why but I typically read the paper from the day before (it's just the way it's been).  Now over the past 2 months, I don't necessarily always get to reading the paper.  I'm distracted or have other things I need to tend to, so that part of my morning routine has been "off".  But yesterday morning I thought I'd sit down and read the paper from the previous day (Wednesday).  But I couldn't find the paper.  I was quite puzzled because I could have sworn I brought it in.  But I guess not because it was not in any of the usual places or where I might have left it by mistake.  Obviously, I did not bring the paper in the day before which I have not been consistent about.

So once I saw the Thursday morning paper delivered, I headed out to get it fully expecting that the Wednesday paper must still be out in the paper tube.  But nope...only a single plastic bag with the paper that was just delivered.  So I was quite puzzled and wrote it off as one of those things I just won't ever figure out...the mystery of the missing paper.

I came back into the house, took the paper out of the bag, and tossed it on the kitchen table on top of the pile where a few other newspaper inserts and magazines were.  As I sat down and grabbed Thursday's paper, what do I find?  Wednesday's paper...sitting there underneath!!  Huh?  How in the world did I ever miss it earlier?  I know I can be a scatterbrain lately, but I didn't think I was that bad!  But here was the Wed paper, the one I was looking for earlier, that was clearly sitting here now staring me in the face.  Did I pick up two papers from the paper tube and not even realize it?  I don't think so because I was quite sure there was only one plastic bag/paper.  Maybe the other paper was tucked behind and I just didn't realize it?  Gosh, I am really losing my mind.  How in the world could it have been sitting on the table all this time and I didn't see it?  Or how could I have picked it up and carried it in the house without realizing I had two things in my hand?  It was raining so I snugged the bag to my body as I carried it into the house.  Was there really two things I was carrying and I didn't realize it?  Either of these scenarios must have been right because the only other explanation was that the paper mysteriously just appeared and I really don't think God uses miracles to deliver papers (at least I hope not!).  So I chalked it up to my forgetfulness and my lack of clarity. Lesson learned and I moved on with my day, reading Wednesday's paper.

Now this morning I once again got my cup of coffee and then sat down to read Thursday's paper (which I knew exactly where it was) and there on the front page I read the following:

...Today's delivery also contains Wednesday's newspaper, which was delayed due to press problems....

Really?  Don't they know they shouldn't mess with my mind like that?  But it made me shake my head at myself and at the situation and I laughed a little inside and I hope you did as well as you read this.  TGIF and may you have a good day!