How Are You Doing?

I'm writing because I know you're out there....checking up on me, wanting to know I'm okay.  Some of you I see daily (or thereabouts) and you don't want to ask me how I'm doing, afraid the question has already being asked too frequently and it will conjure up sadness for me--that I may not want to talk about my grief.  So you avoid the topic.  Know two things in this situation:  (1) the grief is always there, it's just a matter of how well I'm able to manage it at that particular day, that particular moment and (2) if I don't want to talk about it, I won't.  Trust me, you will be able to tell in that particular moment and I can't predict it.

Some of you I only see on occasion, and then, naturally, the first thing you ask me is how I'm doing.  Again, know that I appreciate that and also avoid that.  I know you asking means you care.  There are times though when I can't handle the line of well wishers and so instead, what I find myself doing is avoiding the situation.

But know that there is no right or wrong.  It is okay to ask me how I'm doing.  My advice...do what feels natural to you and don't take it personally if I can't talk about it at that particular moment.  The worse...don't just stare at me with pity or sadness in your eyes.  There was a woman who did that...she walked up to me to share her condolences, said a few words, and then proceeded to stand there and look at me with sadness. There were no more words to say, yet she stood there.  Now that was awkward!  But I'm glad to say that this only occurred once over the past two months, so your chances of creating an awkward moment are slim.

So how am I doing?  I'm hanging in there.  Taking it one day at a time, one step at a time.  Sunday night was tough.  But the workweek has begun which keeps my days filled and my evenings busy as I try to squeeze things into the few hours I have between work and time for bed.

Thanks for asking...