I had the day before Thanksgiving off from work to run errands and bake pies. I got a flu shot (isn't that on the requisite Thanksgiving list of things to do?), then stopped at the Spirit Haus to get drinks for Thanksgiving day. It was nice to see Marvin--it connects me to Ed in a different way. In addition to getting some beer and wine, I also got a couple hugs from Marvin as well. How blessed I am to have him in my life.
It was then off to Atkins where I picked up a lemon meringue pie. Making the lemon meringue pie was one of the things I gave myself a break on this year. It's a lot of work and I usually am disappointed in the meringue, so I crossed that off my list for this year. Next stop was my mother's to drop things off. My sister Marion was there and the three of us set the table for Thanksgiving dinner. There would be 17 of us--Mom at the head of the table, 8 on each side. The opposite end of the table was left empty in honor of Mike and Ed.
After I got home, I baked the apple pie and pumpkin pie. My apple corer/slicer worked perfectly this year which I was very grateful for. One less source of frustration. I then baked some cookies in preparation for Christmas giving. I guess I will continue that tradition, but I'm definitely scaling way back.
Dan decided to drive home Thursday morning which was fine with me. There was no traffic and he was home shortly after 9 AM.
Thanksgiving Day was spent at my mother's. It was a nice day with my sisters, their families, my aunt, and my sister's in-laws. Dan took our family photo. And my mother prepared a special prayer before dinner. That is the only time tears came to my eyes. When we paused to remember Mike and Ed. But the rest of the day was enjoyable watching the girls decorate gingerbread houses or us all playing Pictionary. But the guys usually hung out downstairs watching football--that room was quite empty this year and so I didn't remain there long.
And I have to admit that I have LOVED having Dan home and will be sad to see him go today. But I am reminded how blessed I am to have him here and he is such a big help. On Friday, he put up the outdoor Christmas decorations. Now this was a source of anxiety for me because I did not have a clue how Ed wired them up and connected them to enable us to turn them on/off with the remote. But Dan was paying attention last year and he knew how Ed ran the extension cords and connected everything and Dan took care of doing all of this for me. If Ed ever thought Dan was not paying attention while he helped him with these types of projects, he was clearly mistaken for I am surprised how much Dan does know and did pickup on. Another reason why I am reminded how blessed we were to have Dan home with us last year.
Putting up the outdoor decorations was one of the big ways Dan helped me. But he also helps in small ways like cleaning up the dirt pile in the driveway or putting away dishes in the dishwasher. And this morning I noticed he packed up and put away the golf club "stuff" that Ed had all over the top of the pool table. We usually wrap gifts downstairs and stack things on top of the pool table. But I didn't know what to do with all that golf stuff that Ed had opened/spread out on top of the table. So it has just remained there for the past 9 months. But it made me smile when I saw that Dan took care of packing it all up and putting it away in a closet. I am so lucky to have him in my life.
So the weekend has been good. I've worked on Christmas cards, shopping, baking, and watching Hallmark movies. The outside decorations are up and candles are in the windows. Ed would be proud since he always did this...he enjoyed Christmas so much. And I have always loved Christmas as well. I definitely don't have that same feeling this year--how can I when half of my heart is missing. But, I am proud of the fact that I am finding some enjoyment in shopping and baking and decorating.
Of course, I still miss Ed tremendously and the tears come easily when I turn my thoughts to him not being here with me physically. I know...everyone says he's still with me. Yes, in my heart, but not in my arms, not to hug me and kiss me and spoil me as he always did. He got such pleasure out of buying gifts for me and surprising me on Christmas morning. And it's not about the gifts but rather the happiness and joy Ed had surprising me and Dan with the treasures he put under the tree. So the tears will still flow and my heart will still ache, but I will find joy knowing we shared 31 beautiful Christmases together and that is a priceless gift we gave each other.
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| Pumpkin |
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| Apple |
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| Christmas baking has begun! |
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| Our Thanksgiving Family (Back row, L-R, Tim, Roger, Papa, Dave, Dan; Middle row, Cathy, Maureen, Marion, MommaJeanne, Theresa, Me; Seated, Mom and Gingy; Front row, Nick, Lexi, Ali, Matt) |
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| Outdoor Christmas decorations thanks to Dan! |
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