Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas morning and I'm up enjoying a cup of coffee in the quiet solitude.  The lights on the Christmas tree are on, a fire is going in the fireplace, and I'm excited for Dan to wake up and bound down the stairs so we can exchange gifts.  Just like previous years.  In the past, I'd be sitting here with Ed, waiting for the day to begin.  He would turn on the lights and Christmas music as I made our coffee.  But this morning I turned the lights and music on.  But I know he's with me.

Last night Dan and I went to Christmas Eve Mass.  It's the Mass our choir (which I'm a member of) sings at.  And the church was filled with families celebrating the birth of our Savior and the church was decorated beautifully and the sounds of Christmas filled the air.

A light snow was falling on our drive out to Hardwick last night and, although I fretted a little bit about slippery roads, it helped put me in the Christmas spirit and look forward to the evening.  

We had a good time last night with "the in-laws" (that's my short-hand for Ed's side of the family).  I wasn't sad or teary.  I was actually surprised that I enjoyed the company and laughter.  Of course, having little children around and sharing in their excitement of opening gifts certainly helps.  But the adults shared laughter as well and we had a lot of fun as we did a Yankee Swap.  There were many hugs and kisses and I smiled and wished others a "Merry Christmas"--and it wasn't fake.  There was joy and so I learned it can happen.

After we got home, I went into my bedroom for something and found the candle in the window lit...the same one that I awoke to being lit the other night.  And I know I did not turn it on since I consciously did not turn on the candles upstairs last night.  And Dan swore up and down that he did not (and he didn't even know the story about the candle turning on the other night).  My sign from Ed that he was there.  You can all say that I'm nuts, it's coincidence, but again, I choose to believe what brings me peace and joy.

And so as I begin Christmas Day, I have faith that I will make it through this day because I will be sharing it with family and friends.  And I know Ed will be with me and he will smile that Dan and I are navigating our ways through our new lives and that we are together, the two of us supporting each other.  But, also, with the support of Ed's family and mine.

May you all have a Merry Christmas and I pray you all have loved ones to share it with and know that the gift of life, the gift of health, the gift of family and friends is better than any wrapped package you may receive today.  Christmas Blessings to All!