My Neighbor; My Friend

As I go to bed each evening, I look out my window and see your light on.  It comforts me to know you are there and at home.  You've lived next door for about 20 years.  Always there but not intrusive.  We watched our children grow up.  We were "good" neighbors; no fences between us.  In fact, we have a small path between the trees and shrubs so we can easily pass to each other's home.  You and Ed were always close.  Stopping to chat while working in the yard.  You would kibitz over what trees you might want to cut down between our properties or whatever other topic might come up.  You were there when we had the gas grill fire and Ed was burned.  And when Dan cut his foot, you were the one Ed called to come see if it needed stitches.  An added benefit of having an ER nurse living next door.  I remember how we laughed and enjoyed the evening when our neighbor Dave had his block party. We were good neighbors, watching each other's house when one of us went away.

And you were there when Ed's health declined to provide me with your medical opinion and advise.  And after he passed, it was you and I who stopped to chat when we were out in the yard working.  You gave me advise on when to plant grass seed and when to fertilize.  You shared your experience as a single woman taking care of a home by yourself.  You are older and wiser and a wealth of information and experience and you are my friend.

We have not talked much since your diagnosis.  Just short discussions about the snow, about the Winter Olympics, about how you have chosen hospice instead of an aggressive treatment plan.  I've delivered your paper and shoveled your walk several times, but your children are now there to care for you.  When I call, I speak to your daughter because you are unable to talk with me.

I think of you often and it breaks my heart that you will not be there when I'm out working in my yard when spring arrives.  We have become close this past year and why are you being taken away from me?  I am sad.  I am angry.  But I am still comforted each evening when I see the light on and know you are still there and with us.  But I fear and dread the evening when I will look out and the light will no longer shine.  For I know that day is coming soon and I will miss you, my dear friend and neighbor.  Why has death decided to come visit my family, friends, and neighbors.  I wish he would leave us alone.