Saturday, November 14, 2015

New Cancer Center at Cooley Dickinson

I went to the open house today for the new Mass General Cancer Center at Cooley Dickinson Hospital.  I can't explain why, but I was drawn to it.  As soon as I saw the ad, I cut it out and hung it on my board and marked it on my calendar.

As some of you know, Ed was treated at Hampshire Hematology and Oncology who had their office in Cooley.  This was the level of cancer treatment at Cooley at the time.  We were always thankful that Ed could be treated so close to home.  We absolutely loved Dr. Bowers and his staff.  And if you needed to have chemotherapy, this at least was a nice place to go--good treatment but more importantly wonderful people.  It was a small operation but it was friendly and they made you feel like home.

The new Cancer Center at Cooley is certainly impressive.  It is state-of-the-art and linked into Mass General in Boston.  They are able to easily do conferencing and consult with specialists in Boston saving patients the long drive to Boston.  The infusion area is very impressive with 18 bays, privacy, flat screen TVs, and beautiful views.  It is a beautiful facility but as I walked around I noticed and found comfort in the small, personal touches that brought back memories of Dr. Bowers--the homemade hats available for patients or the basket of snacks and treats.  Fancy monitors now alert nurses when IVs are running low, replacing the unique bells that we used to ring.

I toured today hoping that I will never have the opportunity to see inside again, neither as a patient nor caregiver.  I also found comfort when chatting with some of the tour guides who fondly remember Dr. Bowers and still miss him (he retired the fall after Ed passed).  Some of the staff are still there--Roberta and Karen--who Ed loved to joke and chat with.


It is odd, but I have this sense of connection and comfort there.  Cooley is also where Ed spent the last month of his life and breathed his last breath.  Some people have difficulty returning to the place where their loved one died.  I do not.  It's a strange and odd mixture of feelings--a certain level of peace mixed in with sadness.

As I drove home, I recalled that this was the same drive I took every day for that last month of Ed's life.  I felt empty.  I missed Ed and my heart ached with that emptiness and I wished he was there with me.  I wondered if Ed would have gone to this open house with me?  Would we have even cared about it?  It really doesn't matter.  For I care now.  To this day I still appreciate everything Dr. Bowers and Shane and Karen and Roberta did for Ed.  I miss them all.  I miss Ed.


I'm still not sure why I was drawn there today.  I know, beyond a doubt, if I had a way to make it happen, I would volunteer my time there...at the Cancer Center.  But realistically, with working full-time, I know this is not something I can do.  But maybe that's what I'm destined to do?  I'm not sure, but I'll keep an open mind and see where I'm led.  In the meantime, I'll be grateful that we have such good care right here, close to home.

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