Brzycki family: Moments with Friends

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Moments with Friends

I'm back home again after spending a very nice day with a friend and his family. I so enjoy these times with others, but they are typically followed by the quiet and downside of then being alone. I'm trying not to let the grips of sadness get a hold of me today. I am truly trying to appreciate and enjoy the moments with friends for what they are...moments of enjoyment, creating memories to look back on with happiness and to look forward to future ones.

I went to the "beach" yesterday...rather, I stood on the edge of the ocean. It is so calming as I breathed in the salt air and listened to the waves crashing on the rocks. It brings me such peace and settles my soul. I was able to share this time with my friend which made it even more special because we were able to banter, about nothing, and just walk along the shore and look for crabs or shells or pretty stones. It reminded me of when Ed and I would do this and instead of the usual sadness when I do this alone, I was content. Because these moments, as peaceful as they can be, remind me how alone I am without the person who was supposed to be my partner for life. So I am grateful to my friend for going with me....obviously, a true friend.

I also met family and friends yesterday and they all greeted me with hugs and smiles. Such loving people. I would like to think they also found the same in me...a kind, warm, and loving person. I can be a bit of an introvert, especially around people I don't know well. I hope I made them smile as much as they made me smile. I would like to think the hugs as we said goodbye are my answer. All-in-all, it was a very nice day.

So today, I will cling to those memories and attempt to do so with warmth in my heart instead of allowing the thoughts of what is missing creeping in instead and grabbing hold. Today I will work in the yard and take my time to appreciate the beauty around me. Instead of missing the warmth, laughter, and company of others, I will attempt to appreciate how lucky I am to be able to spend time surrounded by others one day and have time to myself the next and recognize that this can be a good thing.

Yes, life has changed... There are things and a future I will never be able to share with Ed. And I realize, ever so clearly, that if it wasn't for Ed's passing, yesterday would not have happened. I would not know this particular friend, or any of the other close friends I've made these past few years. At some level, that makes me sad. Which I find interesting...