Two Weeks Til Christmas

Two weeks until Christmas and I have to say I don't like this time of year, which is sad.  Instead of enjoying the sights and sounds of the holiday, like many others, I am faced with the stress of trying to get everything done. Never mind the routine tasks of day-to-day living like laundry and bills and maintaining a house, but now there is the added pressure of shopping, wrapping, decorating, and all the other wonderful things associated with this time of year.


I keep trying to simplify but here I am two weeks before Christmas with a long list of shopping that still needs to be done. The Christmas decorations are on the back porch so they are one step closer to actually getting into the house. I need to shop for others but have no idea of what to get them.

Of course everything seems much more difficult carrying the burden myself. Which makes me laugh because I do recall many evenings when I was up late baking or wrapping and Ed would simply sit in his recliner and watch TV! I would get so frustrated that he could be so calm and relaxed and I was totally stressed out. And it's not like Ed didn't do anything.  He took care of the tree and did a lot of shopping and certainly helped wrap.  I need him now to help me stay relaxed.

I used to love Christmas and now all I want to do is go away, escape all of this and come back when it's all over. That's a sad statement but I'm not quite sure how to change this.

And just like that my outlook on life changes. I can blame it on the holidays. I can blame it on the fact that it was exactly 7 years ago that Ed was officially diagnosed with cancer...our first meeting with Dr. Bowers on Dec 9th 2009.  I can blame it on the fact that instead of shopping and baking and sharing the joys of the season with Ed, I'm instead putting a new cemetery log on his grave, a cemetery log that I lovingly arranged myself for him.  I would normally share a picture here of the cemetery log, but I guess I neglected to take one...blame it on widow brain!

I suppose I should stop wallowing in my grief and go be productive for time is wasting away. There's only 2 weeks until Christmas and I have way too much still to do.  May you enjoy the holiday season. I'm hoping to do so once this is all over...