The Holidays Can Suck

Well here we are, less than two weeks before Christmas.  I know I haven't written and that is because the past month has just totally sucked.  Not for any outwardly obvious reason.  No, just the usual sadness that has become part of my daily living.  And I believe it is magnified now because of the holidays.

I have on my list this weekend to write out my Christmas cards.  I typically enclose a small note...to share with others snippets of the past year.  But I am struggling to write this note this year.

I cannot fake a happy message as hard as I try.  And I know that I am being unreasonable.  I know, deep down, that I should be thankful for my job, my home, my friends and family.  And I am...way down deep inside.  But over the past month, I struggle to bring that to the surface and I also find I don't have the energy to fake it either.

So I am here... Still going through the motions day-to-day.

I am trying to do things that bring me snippets of happiness.  But the reality is that if I could go away and escape all the expectations surrounding the holidays, I would.  But I can't.  And so I will suck it up and do my best to get through the next few weeks.

And maybe, I can pull together a few words to include with my Christmas card.  But, then again, maybe there will be no personal note this year...